Thursday, November 6, 2008

Every relationship has its baggage

looking for a guy with some baggage - w4m - 28
Reply to: pers-908667556@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-06, 2:42PM PST


Looking for a man with a sense of adventure and excitement, and who is also skinny or anorexic. You must be small enough to fold into a standard sized piece of luggage that I have. No fatties please.

I will store you in my closet, periodically checking in by rubbing the outside of the luggage case to feel your bony body poking out. If you are nice and quiet, I might unzip the top and slip in a baloney sandwich and a fruit punch juice box.

If things go really well, I might extend the handle and wheel you around the house for a few minutes.

If interested, please have at least an entire day free for luggage play.





j_lewis101 has been in a suitcase before:

Sounds interesting, I can fit in a roll along suitcase, I've been in one before. More details? Would there be sex involved, could I have a knife in the luggage with me just in case it turns out you're nuts and don't let me out?



bemybison wrote:

Yes I will permit the knife, though I have no intention of locking anyone in the suitcase against their will. I find the entire experience alot more fun if everyone is willing and up for it.

So you've been in a suitcase before? Experience is always a plus! Give me some juicy details...



j_lewis101 has been in a suitcase before:

The details aren't too juicy, it was just a bet between friends on whether or not I could fit in a piece of luggage I had bought or not. It was a 48" roll along Gasoline suitcase, and I fit in rather easily, although I don't think I'd fit in anything below 38". I'm very skinny (you can see ribs), but 6'1".

Have you suit-cased anyone before?



bemybison wrote:

I used to have a midget friend named Candice that I suitcased fairly often. Unfortunately after a particularly rough case session she got a little banged up (I accidentally like the luggage fall down my basement stairs) and she was a little put off after that understandably. I've also done it with my nieces and nephews on several occasions until my brother found out and was afraid I was trying to suffocate them (we have a family history of Munchausen syndrome by proxy) so now I am not allowed to see them.

SO, after a few unfortunate events, I now find myself without a luggage companion. It might be a tight fit but I am fairly certain you'll be able to squeeze into my bag, we'll just have be to careful that the zipper doesn't uh.. "snag" on anything. Ha!

What is it about a suitcase that gets you going as much as I do??



j_lewis101 has been in a suitcase before:

Haha, how old were your nieces and nephews when you stuffed them in a suitcase? lol!

I'm quite flexible, I'm sure I'll fit.

As for what turns me on about being in a suitcase, nothing in particular, however my biggest turn on is doing things that turn other people on, and I'm always up for trying something new. I'd never heard of this before your post, and there aren't many things I haven't heard of.

Do you have a photograph of what I'll see before the zipper does up and I'm in the dark?



bemybison wrote:

Yeah, you'll be seeing a whole lot of this:




j_lewis101 wrote:

That's not what I meant....




Other responses:

"thats brilliant...i voted you for craigslist best of"

"WOW!! That's different, I have never even heard of luggage play. My name is Minaz, I'm 40 yrs old, 5 6, slim build, honest, caring, and a very sexy east indian gentleman. I would love to get togeather with you and play your game"

"I fit in a swiss army handcarry luggage...‏"

"LOL I'll do it.."

"you are a dumb cunt"

"I would love to spend a day with you, whereby you could extend the handle and wheel me around, unzip the top and periodically rub the outside to feel the body. so let's enjoy and have fun with our lives."
"what if i dont like baloney or fruit punch?"

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Buggers and nugets

a sexy proposition... - w4m - 24
Reply to: pers-906415383@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-05, 1:06AM PST


Short and sweet: looking for a guy to support my eating habits.

I have something of a "fast-food-tooth" and I can plow through a big mac meal without shame. McDonalds, Wendy's, A&W, they are all my weakness. If its deep fried and loaded with salt, I can guarantee that I've probably binge eaten it at some point. Unfortunately we live in a very superficial world, so I always purge afterwards. A girl has to keep an eye on her figure, nobody wants Grimace in the sack.

This is where you come in: Successful man who isn't afraid to lay down a little cash to feed his gal. The fastest way to my bedroom is through my stomach, so as long as you are keeping me well stocked on nuggets and fries, then I will be more then inclined to share a bit of my beef patty and let you be the chubby chicken in my momma meal. Perhaps we can include some condiments? If it has Sweet and Sour sauce on it, I'll probably put it in my mouth.

You'd be shocked at what I can do with a Happy Meal Toy. Care to find out? Serious responses only.



vanish101 wrote:

Hey let's get a happy meal right now! I'm a hot 28 year old with a crazy appetite for food and pussy! I'm 6 ft tall 180 lbs and fit! Let's go eat and then have each other for dessert.



bemybison wrote:

I have this thing where I can't eat nearby other people, most likely I would end up hurting you and literally taking your food. My cravings are uncontrollable, so it would be better if you just waited outside until after I've dined. I can purge on your chest later if you are into that sort of thing?



vanish101 wrote:

Sure. I'll wait until u r done eating and if that turns u on to purge on me then it all cool with me! Where r u?



bemybison wrote:

I'm in Surrey. Are you seriously down with the purging on your chest thing? Because I've proposed this to some other guys and it usually scares them off pretty quick. None of them seem to keen on being smeared with half-digested Filet-o-Fish, but if your are down with that then you've made my dream come true.



vanish101 wrote:

Haha ya like I said. If that turns u on I'm cool with it. I like trying new things. Can u send me a pic or at least describe yourself in detail. R u hot? Is what I'm getting at.



bemybison wrote:

I've attached a picture. Describe some naughty food play you have in mind!



vanish101 is experienced at carrot play:

Well to be honest i'm only experienced whip cream and honey and chocolate and carrots and cucumbers. But I don't mind getting a little dirty. Rolling and smearing food all over each other. Smearing food all over your pussy then taking my time and licking you pussy clean! When can u meet me?



bemybison wrote:

Can I grill some burger pattie's on your ass?



vanish101 wrote:

Not sure what that means exactly but I'm sure I will be up for that too! Do u live alone? Can I come over?



bemybison wrote:

It means I'll basically rub your ass down with some vodka, light it and sizzles some patties on it for a few seconds until the alcohol burns off, then transfer them to a portable grill I have.



vanish101 wrote:

Sounds crazy but as long as it turns u on! What's your name? Where about in surrey? Can I get your number?



bemybison wrote:

you might get some permanent disfigurement from grease burns, are you down with that?



vanish101 wrote:

No not really. But whatever. Let's try it.


...


cfwoodburne wrote:

your ad sounds crazy but as long as it turns u on! What's your name? Can I get your number?



bemybison wrote:

you a rapist?



cfwoodburne wrote:

not unless you want me o be. i am just a very sexual man that is into most anything. what else are you willing to tell me about you? and ask me anything. thanks



bemybison wrote:

i ain't lookin to get no raped



cfwoodburne wrote:

i am not really looking for that either i am more into giving pleasure that everyone is into



bemybison wrote:

have u ever rape b4? if so, describe in detail



cfwoodburne is a rapist:

i have had very dominant sex many of times and several times while a womans husband or boyfriend watches. as i fuck his woman like he cant but i dont know if i would call it rape except when they tell me to stop and i dont

you like the idea of bieng raped dont you?



bemybison wrote:

will you rape me wit a burger in yo mouth?




cfwoodburne wrote:

yeah driiping sauce as i force myself on you



bemybison wrote:

Can I shove some nuggets in your ass or is that crossing a line




cfwoodburne wrote:

no not at all. you can lube my ass up with sweet and sour if you like



bemybison wrote:

i wanna rub raw beef in your eyes




cfwoodburne wrote:

mmmm that is fucking hot. i like the feeling of he blodd running down my face


...


naughtyvanguy wrote:

I love to eat too, I will get you all the fast food you want if you let me eat you as you eat the food. I would love that!!!!!! Get back to me



bemybison wrote:

Oh my god, do you have a cannibalism fetish?? If so, we might be soul-mates... How interested are you?




naughtyvanguy wrote:

I would love to lick your wet pussy as you eat food. Do you have a number I can call you at?




bemybison wrote:

That did not answer my question.




naughtyvanguy wrote:

I really would love to eat you as you eat buggers and nugets




bemybison wrote:

I want to eat you too. A nice big chunk outta yer leg



naughtyvanguy wrote:

Really, mmmmmm




bemybison wrote:

then roast you on a spit and bury you in my backyard



naughtyvanguy wrote:

Ahhhhh


...


ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

howdy, saw your ad and would love to get you full and happy, so if you're free right now, drop me a line and lets go for a drive thru.




bemybison wrote:

I don't "drive through" sweetheart, I like to savor the moment with my burger.



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

so what do you have in mind? And dropped you a msn invite.



bemybison wrote:

This is my dream scenario: You give me 50 dollars, I find the nearest McDonalds and eat to my heart's content, we leave and go back to your place and I purge all over your sexy chest. Sound like a plan?



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

not much into the getting purged on. what else do you do?



bemybison wrote:

Really? Thats kind of a deal breaker with me. Its incredibly exhilarating, I consider vom-play to be something of an art. I get turned on and then I'm more then willing to do just about anything really.



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

That's too bad, hope you get your freak on with someone who's able to keep up with you.



bemybison wrote:

Is there anything I can do to persuade you? New avenues of sexual play don't have to be intimidating. I can spray some perfume in my mouth if smell is an issue?



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

I'm just not into Vomit-Play. I'm more into exhibition




bemybison wrote:

Well do you have any friends I could vomit on while you watch?



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

sorry, I don't... though watching you would sound interesting.



bemybison wrote:

Well what if I bought like a plastic doll or something and vomitted all over that. Could you get on board then?



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

Sure, but I don't think I can fund the 50 bones.



bemybison wrote:

would you steal burgers for me then???



ronthegoblinsharpshooter wrote:

How many burgers do you need?



bemybison wrote:

a couple dozen




Other responses:


"But are you for real.?? are you serious even....?you sound too good to be true really...."

"Do you ever think of having sex on a bed of Fries and nuggets? That might be neat. I could buy if you would try."

"
hey how r u ur add sounds very interesting i aswell love fast food what is ur fav place i love mcdicks and i must say inever put sweet and sour sauce on it but i would try it cuz it cant hurt no one i think i am also curious of to what u can do with happy meal toys well message me back and let me know"

"
I can probably buy about 600 big Mac for you . if this interest you , then let have a mac attack , a pic would be really good start to a mac time ?"

"
LOL....I like how you use fast food as an example, very creative. I might be interested in this proposition."

"hey. im at mcdonalds now, do you want anything?"


"im high as shit and your post was the best all night"

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Brace Face

URGENT, I need help... - 26
Reply to: pers-897600440@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-28, 7:39PM PDT


this is incredibly emberassing but i am currently stuck ina situation that has dictated outside help. i have a tendancy 2 lay on mystomach on the floor when i am using my labtop and i was browssing facebook moments ago whebn i decided to lay my head down and my braces got stuck on the carpet!!!!! i have tried to untangle it but it wont come undone and the onlythin g in reach is my computer. i am something of a shut in so i dont realy have alot of close friends to come help me, nor would i want anyone i know seeing me right now i am so embarassed so i am reaching out to craigslist

i have tried grindingg the edge opf myh computer against the carpet strand but it is strong and won't tear i dont know what to do i have a job interview in 2 hours!!!!!1 srry for poor spelling i am in an incredibly akward position for typing and in quite a bit of pain from tugging my head up from the carpet, i am afraid that i might rip out my tooth or damage my braces

if u r willing to help, plese respond and i will send u mai info and u can come to my apartment and grab a knife to cut this or something, plez don't waste my time i only hav 2 hrs. before my interview. i am willing to payu for your trouble or maybe we can arrange something else for payment!!



Princess J has suspicions:

out of curiousity....if I was to even go to your apartment....how would you come and unlock the door to let me in if you are stuck on the floor??
unless the door is coincidently unlocked....I dunno about you but something about this ad smells rather fishy....
however, if this is true I feel real bad...



bemybison wrote:

mydoor is unlocked i do not lock itwhen i am at home.r u willing to help me out iam in alot of pain i think i mayb have twisted my neck please hgelp!!



Princess J wrote:

depends....where are you located??



bemybison wrote:

oh god theres blood all over my rug nowsorry for my reply so late i tried mopping it up with my hair

johnston Street near emily carr!! r u willing to cut me free??



Princess J wrote:

omg....I am from surrey and it will take me about half hour to get there... dunno if you are willing to wait...
do you want me to call 911 for you?



bemybison wrote:

NO PLEZ DON'TCALL 911 the last thing i needis this leakingto the press, i am something of a minor celebrity soi cannot havethis getting out.

iam willing to wait, my faceisstuck to my floor, itsnot like i am going anywhere



Princess J wrote:

minor celebrity...with little to no friends....going to an interview at this hour??????? rigggggghhhhtttttt....
Part of me wants to deeply help you because I can only imagine what it might feel like.,,
but the other part is telling me that u are lying,,,and you are some creepy dude trying to coax girls to come to his place...
give me some proof that you are not some dude that’s going to rape me and we will take it from there..... cool??



bemybison wrote:

i'ma girl u idiotDID U EVENREAD MY POST???

if yu've turnedon a tv at anypoint in the l;ast 3 years yu've probably seen me.

HOWDO IPROVE THIS TO YOU, my mouth is bleeding, shud i insert some of it into the cd drive and email it to you??? fuck



Princess J wrote:

F U !!! how would I know how the hell u are!!!! u could be some creep for all that matters!!!! gezzzz
im going to trust me gut and go and save ur ass
give me ur address... if u turn out to be some fucken dude....I will report ur stupid ass!!!



bemybison wrote:

trust me ive got an honest face




Other Responses:

"look lady Im jus tryin to help you out you dont need to give me sex or cash jus being a good samatarian to try and get your braces off the floor so you can get your insulin but if you pass out before 10 minutes is up my laptop is gonna die I gave you my phone number and I might have to use my number to call 911 as I dont think its kool that your stuck there for almost 3 hours!! by the way if it comes down to your life or your face im sur the public will understand braces get caught sumtimes at least its not on a boyfriend somewhere!! besides paramedics and hospitals are inclined to privacy ..period...so jus tell me the address and Ill send an ambulance!!"

"what u want me 2 shit on you. cuz i will but i wont do it unless u tell me 2. so anyways where are u"

"Oh, the erotic fantasies that could be derived from your posting...."

"R u seriously stuck!!! OMG! LOL!!!"